Seriously?!?!?

Pumpkins!

Jeremy and I carved pumpkins last night! It took us about an hour and a half. That included prep work and clean up. Since I have small girly hands, I was chosen to clean out the inside of both pumpkins. Well, Jeremy couldn't fit his hand into the hole in his, so that's why I had to do it.

Yes, Jeremy did balloon boy.

The Last Chapter

When we got home, I went back to bed. I was tired, anxious and needed a rest. Around 11 am, Mom came into my room and woke me up. I could tell something was wrong. She had the look on her face of someone who was going to tell you bad news, but was searching for the words to use. I braced for the worst. What if there was a complication and Tobby didn't make it through surgery? While the news was bad, it was not devastating. Technically, there was a complication; they couldn't remove the lump. There were too many veins and nerves running through the tumor. The doctor felt that the expertise needed to remove the lump was beyond his capabilities.

So we were left with three options. One: take her to a more skilled (and expensive) surgeon. Two: take a biopsy of the lump and if it is cancerous we could start her on radiation treatments. Or three: sew her back up and love her. If we had a superfluous amount of money we would take her to a surgeon. But we just don't have that kind of money. If she wasn't almost 13, we might have considered the biopsy and possible radiation. But she is an older puppy and might not be able to tolerate the treatments. So we told the vet to sew her back up. We were going to smother her with love. Again I cried bittersweet tears. I felt relieved that she made it through surgery and was ok, but she wasn't fixed.

As soon as I was able to partially compose myself, I called Jeremy to tell him what I found out. Jeremy can usually tell when I've been crying and the sound of my voice made him fear the worst. Through my tears, I tried to tell him what had happened and we agreed to have lunch together so I could fill him in on the details. I got back home from lunch around 3:30. The vet said we could pick Tobby up at 5:00, so I watched the Food Network until it was time to go get her.

At 5:00, Mom and I drove back to the vet. We got a 2 page sheet of post-op instructions, a bottle of pain killers and eye ointment. While she was under, they did remove some skin tabs (kind of like fleshy moles) from her muzzle and one from her left eye (it kept getting small infections because of the irritation) and they cut her nails. They also shaved a 5 inch by 2 inch patch of hair on her left side and made a 4 inch incision to remove (what we thought was) a small puss pocket (for lack of proper terminology). My poor puppy was so shaved! When the vet tech brought her out she was whining and pulling towards the door. She wanted to leave! As Mom paid the bill, Tobby pulled me outside and I put her in the car. I sat with Tobby on the way home and she layed her head in my lap as I pet her.

Aftercare instructions told us she was not to do much physical activity for 5-7 days and that included walking up or down the stairs. The first night, Tobby hated being picked up (all 50 pounds of her) and carried up the stairs. But soon she seemed to be enjoying not having to actually walk! Tobby is stubborn however, and soon she was hobbling up the stairs. Not even a baby gate was going to stop her! The instructions also said she might not have a bowel movement for 24-36 hours following surgery. So what happened when she got home? She went right outside and pooped! She wasn't supposed to eat for 12-24 hours, but we gave her some biscuits anyway. Tobby loves biscuits and after all, we were supposed to be smothering her with love.

That Friday, I went upstairs to make myself an English muffin with butter (Smart Balance to be specific). Tobby and Mom were downstairs. I had a few more bites left when I heard the lock on the baby gate rattling. I assumed it was mom trying to adjust it to actually fit the opening to the stairs. But then I heard a crash and the sound of Tobby crying. I bolted out of my chair and flew downstairs to see what happened. The gate had fallen down, but instead of finding Tobby laying at the bottom of the stairs, she was pacing around by the gate. Tobby tried to get past the gate to come upstairs to see me, but had instead knocked the gate over and was crying because she couldn't get passed it. I put the gate back and sat on the floor in the other room and she plopped down next to me and fell asleep.

It has been a week since the surgery and she is allowed to go up and down the stairs as she pleases. She still has pain medication to take (poor girl hurts at night) and eye ointment to use. Next week, we take her in the get her stitches removed. Her fur is slowly starting to grow back , so she doesn't look as deformed as she did the day after her surgery. I told my grandma that we will never take Tobby back to get her hair cut at that salon again because we overpaid and they did a terrible job at cutting her hair!

(fast forward one month)

Tobby's hair has almost all grown back on her back and the arm that had her IV, but her lump seems to be impeding the growth of new hair. I think in the month since her surgery, the lump has gotten bigger. She still hurts most nights and gets antsy and wanders around the house at 4 am. I've only taken her to work one time and she was so happy to go! Every night I sleep with her, I still kiss her goodnight and tell her I love her. If she is with me in the morning, I kiss her when I get out of bed.

She truly is my best friend and I hope that she knows how much she means to me.

Continuing Saga of Tobby

We scheduled her appointment for the Wednesday following our annual family camping trip in September. I had cried a few times since we scheduled Tobby's appointment, mostly at night. My tears were bittersweet. I wanted Tobby to be lump free and have a better quality of life, but at the same time, I was so worried that she wouldn't make it through surgery. Every night that she slept in bed with me, I would kiss her on the top of her head and tell her that I loved her before I would go to sleep. I was conflicted because the one person I knew I could talk to about anything at anytime of night, was the one that I was worried about. When I tried talking to Jeremy about it, I would just end up crying and couldn't get more than two sentences out. I tried as hard as I could not to worry myself and just concentrate on the upcoming camping trip.



It was late morning when I started packing and Tobby knew something was up. She'd been camping enough times before that she could tell when we were getting ready to leave. As I finished packing my explorer, I noticed Tobby lying down in the grass next to me, making sure we didn't leave without her. Soon it was time to leave and I asked Tobby if she was ready to go camping. Without hesitation she sprung to her feet and jogged to the car as fast as her legs would let her, whining the whole way (in excitement of course). I put her on her bed in the back seat, rolled down her window and off we went. We headed east toward Mt. Rainier, with Tobby's face up near the window. Her nose was twitching the entire two and a half hour drive. We got to the campsite just as the sun was starting to go down and as Jeremy and I unpacked, Tobby went to greet everybody who was already there.



Tobby has always loved camping. With so many new smells to smell and places to explore, she's never bored. This trip was no exception. She sniffed every corner of the entire site and wanted to follow us everywhere we went. She seemed invigorated, even leaping down a 3 foot embankment just to follow my dad. She was having fun. Each night, Tobby found the perfect spot near the fire to curl up and warm her old bones. My 50 pound Tobby slept in the two person tent that Jeremy and I shared. I made a nice spot for her at my feet and I slept more curled up than normal just so she was comfortable. One night she woke up crying, we thought she had to go potty so Jeremy sat up to find a sweatshirt to take her out. While his attention was diverted, she got up, went over to his pillow and plopped down, groaning as she got comfortable! After we got done laughing, Jeremy helped me scoot Tobby back down to her bed and we went back to sleep. Like all fun vacations, the end always came too quickly and Tobby was insistent on staying whether her bed was in the tent or not. But we had to go, Tobby had a surgery to get ready for.

Mom and I woke up early on Wednesday morning to take Tobby to the vet. I had spent Tuesday night holding Tobby and crying myself to sleep. Wednesday morning we were on our way to the vet. I held Tobby in the back seat, petting and loving her the entire way. At 7:30 am on September 16, we arrived at Twin Lakes Veterinary Hospital. We checked Tobby in at the reception desk and soon the veterinary technician came up front to get Tobby and take her back to the 'surgery waiting area'. Before they took her away, I told her I loved her and pet her one last time. The receptionist told us we would hear from them sometime before noon. We thanked them and headed outside. Once I stepped foot outside of the door, I broke down and started crying. I couldn't help but thing that I would never see Tobby again and I couldn't handle the thought. Mom hugged me, but it didn't help.



...to be continued...

Tobby part 2

As the years past, and she began to grow older, the effects of arthritis began to show. Strenuous activities that she once loved became difficult. Some days she would fall down the stairs when trying to go upstairs because her back legs didn't get the message to move. Despite the discomfort she never abandoned her responsibilities to greet all visitors, whether at home or at work. Her favorite part about going to work now was the car ride because she could just sit and watch the world go by.

This last January, a small lump began to grow on Tobby's left front leg. Similar lumps that had grown on her in the past never seemed to effect her and since this one was roughly the size of a peanut, we weren't too worried. By April, however, the lump on her leg had grown to the size of a golf ball. My mom and I grew more concerned by the day. Later that month we decided that it was time to see our trusted vet, Dr. Driscoll. She recommended that we consider removing the lump, if it was interfering with her day to day activities. Knowing that it was already beginning to interfere with her everyday life, we asked how much the procedure would cost. The quote? $1,000! My heart sank. As much as my family loves Tobby, I knew that we couldn't afford it. Seeing the strain in our face, Dr. Driscoll suggested that we do the pre-op blood tests on Tobby now to see if she would even be able to tolerate surgery. We agreed and when the results came back, she had the best results she had in the last 12 1/2 years! Her liver enzymes, which had been bad since she was a young pup, were back in the normal range. I was so excited that Tobby was so healthy, but the excitement quickly turned to anxiety. While Tobby was healthier than she had ever been, she had a large tumor on her leg that we knew we couldn't get removed because we didn't have that much money. So we did the only thing we could do at that time, wait and hope that it stopped growing.

At least once every week, my mom and I head over to my grandparents house to visit. Tobby decided she wanted to come along this time, so we loaded her up in the back of the car and headed over. We made our usual small talk about pills, doctor appointments and products that got Grandma excited on QVC, and soon it was time to leave. But as we began heading for the door, Grandpa noticed the lump on Tobby's leg. By then it had grown to the size of a tennis ball. We told him to story about how it grew, about our discussion with Dr. Driscoll and how it would cost a minimum of $1,000 to remove. As the story progressed, you could see the sadness in his eyes. While Grandpa will never admit it, he is definitely a dog lover. Soon we were on our way home; Tobby's nose sniffing the outside air as we drove. I couldn't help but notice how content she looked, which was completely opposite of how I felt.
Later on that same night, I was hanging out with Jeremy when I got an unexpected phone call from Mom. She had just gotten off the phone with Grandpa and he told her that we wanted to pay for Tobby's surgery. At first my brain couldn't compute what she was saying. In disbelief I asked her if she was serious. She said yes. I was in shock when I got off the phone with her and quickly shared the great news with Jeremy, I almost started crying. My Tobby was going to get fixed!

...to be continued...