When we got home, I went back to bed. I was tired, anxious and needed a rest. Around 11 am, Mom came into my room and woke me up. I could tell something was wrong. She had the look on her face of someone who was going to tell you bad news, but was searching for the words to use. I braced for the worst. What if there was a complication and Tobby didn't make it through surgery? While the news was bad, it was not devastating. Technically, there was a complication; they couldn't remove the lump. There were too many veins and nerves running through the tumor. The doctor felt that the expertise needed to remove the lump was beyond his capabilities.
So we were left with three options. One: take her to a more skilled (and expensive) surgeon. Two: take a biopsy of the lump and if it is cancerous we could start her on radiation treatments. Or three: sew her back up and love her. If we had a superfluous amount of money we would take her to a surgeon. But we just don't have that kind of money. If she wasn't almost 13, we might have considered the biopsy and possible radiation. But she is an older puppy and might not be able to tolerate the treatments. So we told the vet to sew her back up. We were going to smother her with love. Again I cried bittersweet tears. I felt relieved that she made it through surgery and was ok, but she wasn't fixed.
As soon as I was able to partially compose myself, I called Jeremy to tell him what I found out. Jeremy can usually tell when I've been crying and the sound of my voice made him fear the worst. Through my tears, I tried to tell him what had happened and we agreed to have lunch together so I could fill him in on the details. I got back home from lunch around 3:30. The vet said we could pick Tobby up at 5:00, so I watched the Food Network until it was time to go get her.
At 5:00, Mom and I drove back to the vet. We got a 2 page sheet of post-op instructions, a bottle of pain killers and eye ointment. While she was under, they did remove some skin tabs (kind of like fleshy moles) from her muzzle and one from her left eye (it kept getting small infections because of the irritation) and they cut her nails. They also shaved a 5 inch by 2 inch patch of hair on her left side and made a 4 inch incision to remove (what we thought was) a small puss pocket (for lack of proper terminology). My poor puppy was so shaved! When the vet tech brought her out she was whining and pulling towards the door. She wanted to leave! As Mom paid the bill, Tobby pulled me outside and I put her in the car. I sat with Tobby on the way home and she layed her head in my lap as I pet her.
Aftercare instructions told us she was not to do much physical activity for 5-7 days and that included walking up or down the stairs. The first night, Tobby hated being picked up (all 50 pounds of her) and carried up the stairs. But soon she seemed to be enjoying not having to actually walk! Tobby is stubborn however, and soon she was hobbling up the stairs. Not even a baby gate was going to stop her! The instructions also said she might not have a bowel movement for 24-36 hours following surgery. So what happened when she got home? She went right outside and pooped! She wasn't supposed to eat for 12-24 hours, but we gave her some biscuits anyway. Tobby loves biscuits and after all, we were supposed to be smothering her with love.
That Friday, I went upstairs to make myself an English muffin with butter (Smart Balance to be specific). Tobby and Mom were downstairs. I had a few more bites left when I heard the lock on the baby gate rattling. I assumed it was mom trying to adjust it to actually fit the opening to the stairs. But then I heard a crash and the sound of Tobby crying. I bolted out of my chair and flew downstairs to see what happened. The gate had fallen down, but instead of finding Tobby laying at the bottom of the stairs, she was pacing around by the gate. Tobby tried to get past the gate to come upstairs to see me, but had instead knocked the gate over and was crying because she couldn't get passed it. I put the gate back and sat on the floor in the other room and she plopped down next to me and fell asleep.
It has been a week since the surgery and she is allowed to go up and down the stairs as she pleases. She still has pain medication to take (poor girl hurts at night) and eye ointment to use. Next week, we take her in the get her stitches removed. Her fur is slowly starting to grow back , so she doesn't look as deformed as she did the day after her surgery. I told my grandma that we will never take Tobby back to get her hair cut at that salon again because we overpaid and they did a terrible job at cutting her hair!
(fast forward one month)
Tobby's hair has almost all grown back on her back and the arm that had her IV, but her lump seems to be impeding the growth of new hair. I think in the month since her surgery, the lump has gotten bigger. She still hurts most nights and gets antsy and wanders around the house at 4 am. I've only taken her to work one time and she was so happy to go! Every night I sleep with her, I still kiss her goodnight and tell her I love her. If she is with me in the morning, I kiss her when I get out of bed.
She truly is my best friend and I hope that she knows how much she means to me.
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