I found this card (made by Carlton Cards) at Target, but I have nobody to give it to as I forgot about it then bought everyone different cards yesterday. I will share this with my readers.
10. O Holiday Tree
9. Have Yourself a Merry Little Day of Winter
8. Frosty the Snowperson
7. Chestnuts Roasting on a Safely Contained, Continuously Monitored, Eco-friendly, Nontoxic Outdoor Fire (For Which I Do Have a Permit)
6. Higher Power Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
5. Grandma Allegedly Got Run Over By an Unidentified Non-Human Perpetrator
4. Deck the Halls With Boughs of Unendangered Foliage (If Office Policy Permits)
3. Hark! The Herald Mythical Winged Creature Sings
2. I Saw Mommy Greeting Santa Claus With a Purely Platonic Expression of Inoffensive Mutual Affection
1. I'll Be Home for a Short Period of Time in December
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Friday, December 19, 2008
OTR: December Storm edition
Snow may result in the excessive consumption of hot cocoa, but it also brings the stupid drivers. My On The Red this month will focus on those stupid drivers.
1. Just because you have one or more of the following; an SUV/Truck, snow tires, chains and/or 4 wheel drive, doesn't mean you can drive 60 mph even if that is the posted speed limit.
2. Don't ride my tail because I'm being cautious when the roads are icy. You may be at fault for the accident, but I still don't have the money to pay for repairs until your insurance company coughs up the dough.
3. I don't care that the sand/de-icer truck has been down the street, ice and snow does accumulate.
4. I understand stopping takes a bit more finesse during these conditions, but don't go 30 mph down an obviously unkempt hill and not even make an effort to warn other drivers that you are indeed going to blast through the solid red light like a liquid explosion.
To those who actually drive extra cautiously in the snow and those who just stay inside, thank you for being safe and smart.
To those who think driving in snow is the same as driving while eating an ice cream cone (because it too is chilly), I hope you find yourself in a ditch...with minor car damage...not too much, just enough for me to laugh at you without feeling guilty.
1. Just because you have one or more of the following; an SUV/Truck, snow tires, chains and/or 4 wheel drive, doesn't mean you can drive 60 mph even if that is the posted speed limit.
2. Don't ride my tail because I'm being cautious when the roads are icy. You may be at fault for the accident, but I still don't have the money to pay for repairs until your insurance company coughs up the dough.
3. I don't care that the sand/de-icer truck has been down the street, ice and snow does accumulate.
4. I understand stopping takes a bit more finesse during these conditions, but don't go 30 mph down an obviously unkempt hill and not even make an effort to warn other drivers that you are indeed going to blast through the solid red light like a liquid explosion.
To those who actually drive extra cautiously in the snow and those who just stay inside, thank you for being safe and smart.
To those who think driving in snow is the same as driving while eating an ice cream cone (because it too is chilly), I hope you find yourself in a ditch...with minor car damage...not too much, just enough for me to laugh at you without feeling guilty.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Not in a Mini!
This past summer I started using the "Tide to Go" pen. It has not only save many of my clothes, but Jeremy's white work shirt (my delicious spaghetti sauce) and Allie's white tank top (ketchup from fair fries) as well. I highly recommend keeping one handy for just such emergencies.
A few months ago I saw a rather delightful commercial for the "Tide to Go" pen, now in a mini! I was very excited to learn about this. So for the past few months I have been making stops down the laundry detergent aisle and even checking the end caps of check out lines at the stores and have not been able to locate said pen. I have made multiple stops at QFC, Fred Meyer, Safeway, Rite Aid and even Big Lots and still have not found the mini version of it.
I am starting to question its existence. If any of my (I think 3 now) readers know where I can find the "Tide to Go Mini" I would love to know. It would also make a great Christmas gift!
A few months ago I saw a rather delightful commercial for the "Tide to Go" pen, now in a mini! I was very excited to learn about this. So for the past few months I have been making stops down the laundry detergent aisle and even checking the end caps of check out lines at the stores and have not been able to locate said pen. I have made multiple stops at QFC, Fred Meyer, Safeway, Rite Aid and even Big Lots and still have not found the mini version of it.
I am starting to question its existence. If any of my (I think 3 now) readers know where I can find the "Tide to Go Mini" I would love to know. It would also make a great Christmas gift!
Friday, November 28, 2008
Round 2
Breaking News in Palm Desert California:
At Toys "R" Us two men have died due to a quick gun fight. It has not been released whether or not this was gang related or a fight over a toy.
Don't you just love people?
At Toys "R" Us two men have died due to a quick gun fight. It has not been released whether or not this was gang related or a fight over a toy.
Don't you just love people?
Tis the Season...for death
Black Friday
These two words evoke so many thoughts and feelings for most. The thoughts of how early one has to wake up to get a good place in line for the 4 am opening of stores, which stores have the best deals, is it possible to divide and conquer to hit multiple stores at the same time or even how to go from store to store as they open in sequence. Some just think of it as a day to stay home, start pulling holiday decorations out of storage and eat some left-over turkey.
One thing many people don't think of, until it happens, is death.
This morning at a Wal-Mart in New York a 34 year old temporary employee was trampled to death by an unruly mob of people in order to score one of the advertised deals. While the exact cause of death has not been released, I'm positive it wasn't due to excessive kindness by customers waiting their turn to enter the store in a calm manner.
The New York Times is even reporting that the customers started pulling the doors from their hinges. Four to five other customers, including a 28 year old pregnant woman, were injured in this frenzy.
AOL usually has some sort of poll with each of their news stories. One question asked was "Does this news surprise you?" At 11:36 am PST 53,133 people had voted. 80% of those people said "No."
What is the world coming to when people aren't surprised by death during the unofficial start of the holiday shopping season? What's next, tainted turkey meat on Thanksgiving, a country-wide internet crash on Cyber Monday that includes compromised personal information? I just wonder how many people will no longer want to participate in Black Friday because they could be next.
To those customers at that Wal-Mart this morning, I hope you got your TV. I hope every time you watch it you remember you killed a man. You have frightened others by your greed and lack of ethics.
You are an American Terrorist.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
On The Red
Today will be my first in the series On The Red. Basically, it is my monthly (sometimes for 5 days straight) post about things that I complain about due to my heightened irritation from the red and people in general. This post will be short as I need to pace myself.
1. Stores who put up Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving.
1a. Stores who put up Christmas decorations before Halloween!
2. People who put [Christmas] lights/nativity scenes/inflatable lawn ornamentation up before Thanksgiving.
3. Radio stations that play Christmas music before Thanksgiving.
Do we see a pattern?
Now, I enjoy the holiday season as much as the next person who also happens to enjoy it, but seriously, can't you wait til Black Friday? Come Friday I will be into my Christmas spirit, why you ask, because it is after Thanksgiving.
Note: Buying some gifts for Christmas early is acceptable, as long as you don't decorate. You should also buy me some :)
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Wocka Wocka Wocka
As many Mariner fans now know, Don Wakamatsu is now the new Mariner’s manager. While most people could use the google to find his biography, see past job performance and compare whether or not his “style” is something that has proven to work, I find more comfort from reading one specific article from the Seattle PI.
If you are too lazy to click the link and read, I will give you a quick synopsis. He has a rabbit named Dexter. The rabbit attends his son’s baseball games. They also have a 6 year old shelter dog named Asia. Asia is a border collie/German Sheperd mix*. When they got her they thought she was too hyper and took her back to the shelter. After sleeping with guilt for a night, they went back and had to pay the fee again to get her back.
*Another trip to the google using the images feature can produce an assortment of possible dipictions of the dog. (Using border collie and German shepherd as the search term)
Note: There are a few more paragraphs in there about other things not dog or bunny related. I felt they weren’t as important.
For more on the google see what Bush has to say. If uncertain about the internet, please refer to Former Senator Ted Stevens.
If you are too lazy to click the link and read, I will give you a quick synopsis. He has a rabbit named Dexter. The rabbit attends his son’s baseball games. They also have a 6 year old shelter dog named Asia. Asia is a border collie/German Sheperd mix*. When they got her they thought she was too hyper and took her back to the shelter. After sleeping with guilt for a night, they went back and had to pay the fee again to get her back.
*Another trip to the google using the images feature can produce an assortment of possible dipictions of the dog. (Using border collie and German shepherd as the search term)
Note: There are a few more paragraphs in there about other things not dog or bunny related. I felt they weren’t as important.
For more on the google see what Bush has to say. If uncertain about the internet, please refer to Former Senator Ted Stevens.
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